Unfortunately, The Joke’s Actually On Us

October 17, 2022 Michael Olesker

President Joe Biden (left) and former President Donald Trump (Jim Watson, Saul Loeb AFP via Getty Images, via JTA)

You need a good laugh? Try Andy Borowitz’s new book, “Profiles in Ignorance: How America’s Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber.” You’ll laugh until your head explodes in anger.

Borowitz is a standout among America’s comic varsity, the first humorist honored by the National Press Club, which is a self-consciously serious outfit. He’s been a New Yorker contributor for the past quarter-century. His satirical news column, “The Borowitz Report,” regularly skewers some of America’s leading political dimwits.

But in “Profiles in Ignorance” (Avid Reader Press), he’s got plenty of help. He lets the W’s and the Quayles and the Palins (and plenty of others) speak for themselves. This leaves us belatedly realizing: the laugh’s on us.

Or is there someone out there who wishes to rationalize the likes of George W. Bush, wandering aimlessly through his typical grammatical maze, declaring, “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, ‘Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.’”

Or Dan Quayle with his unique grasp of history: “The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”

And as you puzzle that one out, realize we haven’t even touched on the self-acclaimed genius, Donald J. Trump, whose July 4, 2019, speech gave us what Borowitz calls the ex-president’s “time-bending narrative” on the American Revolutionary War:

“Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory.”

But “Profiles in Ignorance” isn’t just a collection of vaguely remembered political malapropisms. Borowitz is working on a theory here.

He believes one of our political parties (hint: it’s not the Democrats) has willfully dumbed down its choice of candidates. Partly, it’s because they’ve won big with “Who would you rather have a beer with?” folks who don’t pretend to be part of any “elite.”

And partly because another political party (hint: it’s not the Republicans) have lost consistently with such political nerds as Adlai Stevenson, Jimmy Carter, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton.

Or as Borowitz writes, what historian could have imagined “how TV, tag-teaming with its demented henchman the internet, could boost candidates who were geniuses about those media and dopes about everything else? What happens when you combine ignorance with performing talent? A president who tells the country to inject bleach.”

Who’s at fault for this mess? Here’s where Borowitz gets serious, outlining what he calls America’s “Three Stages of Ignorance.”

There’s the Ridicule Stage, back when we used to mock our leaders’ most glaring flaws and a serious one could kill a career. Then the Acceptance Stage, when “ignorance mutated into something more agreeable (i.e. Ronald Reagan), a sign that a politician was authentic, down-to-earth and a ‘normal person.’”

And then the Celebration Stage, “the ordeal we’re enduring now,” Borowitz writes. “Ignorance has become preferable to knowledge, dunces are exalted over experts, and a candidate can win a seat in Congress after blaming wildfires on Jewish space lasers … and dumb becomes a successful affectation.”

Or to put it the way George W. Bush once remarked, “You can fool some of the people all the time, and these are the ones you want to concentrate on.”

Michael Olesker’s latest book, “Boogie: Life on A Merry-Go-Round,” was recently published by Apprentice House. It’s the life story of Baltimore legend Leonard “Boogie” Weinglass, an original “Diner” guy who grew up to create the Merry-Go-Round clothing chain and contribute millions to charity.