Promote Connectedness at the Thanksgiving Table

November 23, 2016 Rich Polt

What am I thankful for this year?

In many households across America, this question will elicit a cornucopia (see what I did there) of snarky, half-serious, politically-minded quips. Which may, in turn, lead to some not-so-joking, sanctimonious barbs aimed at your uncle who you only get to see once a year.

On the off chance that your family members don’t all lean in the same ideological direction, Thanksgiving is an opportunity to set aside partisan discourse and a well-timed reprieve from the divisiveness of the day.

In fact, that’s what the holiday was originally designed to do. Back in 1863, in the middle of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the first national Thanksgiving Day be celebrated by both the North and South. An excerpt from the proclamation, written by Secretary of State William H Seward:

“I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States … to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens … and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.”

I’m not saying that we should endeavor to heal our nation at the Thanksgiving table. But we can treat our family units as microcosms of a much larger society, rife with differing opinions and worldviews. Indeed, with the right disposition, we can raise the holiday bar from mere civility to actual connectedness.

Here are four things you can try to bridge the divide and infuse greater meaning into our Thanksgiving meals:

If political talk is only going to raise ire, let us bite our tongues.

Focus on that which makes this group of people our family: shared history, common experiences, and group stories. Take time to reminisce and be inquisitive. We may not see eye to eye on all issues, but there is certainly common ground to be celebrated and explored.

Ask questions that aren’t rooted in current events. Use the holidays as a launch pad and then see where the conversation takes you. Need a list of provocative questions? Try one of these: http://www.acknowledgemedia.com/qoftheday/.

Download a Thanksgiving ceremony program from Freedom’s Feast: http://www.freedomsfeast.us/thanksgiving. It’s like a Passover Haggadah, except instead of retelling the Jewish exodus story, the focus is on our family’s coming to America story.

Wishing everyone an open, engaging, and unifying Thanksgiving break.

Rich Polt helps families celebrate, preserve, and share their legacies. After a 25-year public relations career, Rich launched Acknowledge Media (http://www.acknowledgemedia.com), which produces documentary-style life story films, built upon recorded conversations with loved ones.