Jmore offers its annual “Love Issue,” profiling four couples who embody the power of love.
Aviva and Rabbi Moshe Schwartz recently celebrated their 18th (chai) wedding anniversary. While Aviva is the community planning and allocations senior associate at The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore, Moshe has served as head of school at Krieger Schechter Day School since 2015. Aviva, 43, an Indianapolis native, and Moshe, 44, who comes from Baldwin, New York, live in Pikesville and have three children.
How did you meet?
Moshe: We both attended Brandeis University, but were a class year apart and in very different places. We shared a similar interest in Hillel but rarely spoke. While Aviva studied abroad her junior year, a mutual friend made arrangements to take over the off-campus apartment that my friends and I were living in. Coincidence #1.
Coincidence #2 came on the fateful day of 9/11/2001. We were both working on opposite sides of the World Trade Center and witnessed the horrors of that day firsthand and far too close. On my long and winding walk uptown, I chanced upon our mutual friend from Brandeis, Julie, with whom I had arranged the apartment takeover rental. She was standing on the corner of 15th Street and 5th Avenue, unsure how she would get home six miles uptown. I walked her home and we stopped by an office building on the way to email Julie’s parents and let them know she was safe.
Aviva: That winter, I was the business manager of an a cappella group at my graduate school, the Jewish Theological Seminary. Moshe reached out to Julie to get my email and wrote to me asking if our group would perform for a scholarship fundraiser he was planning for the Ramah overnight camp. Moshe took the opportunity to re-introduce himself and remind me he had walked Julie home on 9/11. He threw in a line asking if I would be interested in dinner sometime. Coincidence #3 or part of the plan? After much thought, I agreed on both the singing gig and the dinner.
Did you know fairly soon that this person was “the one”?
Aviva: It took me a while as even though we went to the same college, we didn’t really know each other and it was nice to be able to re-meet under different circumstances. It did help that we had many friends and experiences in common, and after a handful of dates it was pretty clear where this was going.
Moshe: A few months after we started dating, we both worked at separate overnight summer camps in the summer of 2002. We communicated mostly by snail mail and a few emails. It was very difficult to be apart for two months, and that’s when I knew she was “the one.”
Your favorite quality about each other?
Aviva: Moshe is great in situations where decisions need to be made quickly, and I appreciate knowing he will take care of things in a thoughtful way. He is also great about planning our trips and vacations and the logistics aspects, while I take care of the packing!
Moshe: Aviva is super-organized and a great cook. She makes the most delicious Shabbat and holiday meals.
What do you tease each other about?
Aviva: We both think the other snores.
Moshe: Aviva is the only one of the five of us who does not have an iPhone. We all tease her about her obsession with her Android.
What do you sometimes clash on?
Aviva: When Moshe wears his costumes, and when he takes phone calls during dinner.
Moshe: The definition of cleanliness.
Your ideal night out?
Aviva: Before COVID, we would just enjoy going out with friends or to events, but honestly, most of our social interactions came in the form of Shabbat dinner. Ever since we were first married, we have enjoyed inviting over different friends and even people that we don’t really know for Shabbat meals. As Moshe became a head of school, we used this opportunity to get to know all the families in the schools and invite them into our home. Unfortunately, we have been on a two-year hiatus from this, but look forward to sharing more meals when it is safe.
What’s the secret to a successful relationship?
Moshe: Patience, strong communication and staying out of the kitchen.
Our marriage started under difficult and tragic circumstances as my younger brother, Eliezer, died tragically at age 21, less than five weeks before our wedding. It was the night of Aviva’s bachelorette party when she got the call to come back immediately. Her bridal shower the next day was cancelled. Five months later, my father, Rabbi Gershon Schwartz, died suddenly from what we later learned was a massive brain tumor. The challenge of mourning these deaths, not to mention the practical challenges of saying Kaddish daily, while trying to find time and space to begin our lives together was certainly not easy. Everything, including aspects of our wedding, changed. At the same time, I could not have gone through this without Aviva, who was a pillar of strength, source of comfort and partner in navigating the healing process and moving forward.
Aviva: Communication, sense of humor (mostly from Moshe!) and finding ways to spend time together away from the craziness of daily life. This was especially true during the pandemic, and we made it a point to take some much needed vacation and time away together last summer while our kids were at camp.
Advice to other seekers of love and long-lasting relationships?
Both: Work everything out before you go to sleep. We never go to bed angry at one another.
This is the third in a four-part series. See Also: Maurice “Maysh” Fried and Rosalie Raim | Talia and Aaron Jordan
Pikesville residents Talia and Aaron Jordan met in college and have been married for four-and-a half years. Jmore talked with the pair about their love story.
Who says it's ever too late to find love? Just ask Rosalie Raim, 91, and Maurice "Maysh" Fried, 94, who started dating three years ago.