The Love Issue: Love on Three Wheels

February 9, 2023 Alan Feiler, Editor-in-Chief

Married for 37 years, Pikesville residents David and Wendy Hefter originally met at an exercise class at the Park Heights JCC. (Photo by David Stuck)

For Jmore’s annual “Love Issue,” we’ve profiled a pair of local Jewish couples — one new to wedded life and the other a seasoned union — who truly exemplify the spirit of giving, mutual respect and ahava.

Motorcycle enthusiasts Wendy and David Hefter ride the freeway of love and enjoy every minute of it.

A major theme in the long and blissful relationship of Wendy and David Hefter is “Staying Alive.” In fact, the 1983 sequel to the blockbuster movie “Saturday Night Fever” was the first date that the Hefters, who live in Pikesville’s Ralston community, went on.

“We just had so much fun,” recalls Wendy, now 59. “He was so gentlemanly and respectful. He took me to dinner and the movie, and afterward we went out dancing. It was the best time. I said to my roommate later that night, ‘I don’t know if he’s the one but if not him, someone like him.’ That first date, I just knew.”

The Hefters met at an exercise class at the Park Heights Jewish Community Center. A Pikesville native, Wendy was 20 and in college. Meanwhile, David, who was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and raised in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, had just moved to Columbia, Maryland, and was working as a software engineer for nuclear power plants.

“I was like, ‘Where are the Jews in Columbia?’” says David, now 64. “My work friend Michael told me to try out an exercise class at the JCC.”

The Hefters, who’ve been married for 37 years, remember that class with great fondness. “There were only five of us who were in our 20s, and everyone else was 55 and up,” Wendy says with a laugh. “It was led by a guy named Irv, who was a good teacher, and it was all aerobics, running, stretching — all rah-rah. It was a good class, and it just clicked.”

During the street jogging component of the class, Wendy noticed David standing by his Z/28 Chevy Camaro. “He’d just bought it for his 25th birthday, and I said to someone, ‘Who is that?’” she recalls. “He was a good-looking guy with a cool car — and Jewish.”

Because most of the students in the class were senior citizens, David recalls looking at Wendy and thinking, “‘What is she doing here?’ And our backgrounds were very similar.”

Both Wendy and David were at a point in their lives in which they were ready to settle down. “I was a mature 20, and my parents got married young,” she says. “I knew I wanted to marry young. He was only 25, but at that point he was ready to settle down. He had done the dating scene.”

Early in their relationship, Wendy, a longtime dancer and dance enthusiast, was impressed when David took her to the ballet, “even though he’s not into the ballet at all. … It was just always so easy to be friends with him, so comfortable. We had fun from the beginning, and he came from a good family. We had a lot of the same ideas.”

The Hefters married on June 23, 1985, and lived in Cherry Hill, N.J., and Randallstown before moving into their current Pikesville home of 31 years, a large bungalow that last December served for the first time as the community’s “Chanukah House.”

The Hefters, who belong to Suburban Orthodox Toras Chaim Synagogue, have four adult children, two sons-in-law and an 8-month-old grandson. They admit to being what some people might consider “an old-fashioned couple” — while he likes to work with his hands and putter around the house, she enjoys cooking for him and others. They also enjoy gardening together, entertaining guests and spending time in their therapeutic spa.

When asked about the key to a successful and loving relationship, Wendy, a professional organizer, says, “We always tell our kids that the most important thing is respect and honesty. We occasionally disagree, but we don’t really have a fight. Ever. You listen to each other, and you work as a team. … When we met and started dating, we both agreed on what we wanted. We were going to do what it took.”

Says David, who works in government information technology services: “You must respect the other person and have open communication. You also have to join in activities that make the other person happy in a way that works for both people.”

For instance, 15 years ago, David purchased his first motorcycle since his college days. He loves to drive it, and Wendy enjoys being his passenger and photographer. Together on their Harley-Davidson Trike, the Hefters belong to Jewish motorcycling clubs and drive to biking gatherings throughout North America, including the famed Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota.

“I’ve gone from being a busy, self-employed mom to a freewheeling Jewish biker chick,” says Wendy with a smile. “I thought it was just great that David wanted to share his passion with me. Meanwhile, the kids see that we spend time together and they like it. In fact, they think it’s so funny. Anywhere they go in the world, they look for a Harley-Davidson store for us. But they know we’re always responsible [about motorcycle safety].”

A big transition in the Hefter household came with the arrival of the pandemic in early 2020. For decades, David commuted daily to the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area for work. But with COVID, David suddenly found himself working from home for the first time in their marriage and loves having extra time in his day instead of commuting.

“Having David at home is great,” says Wendy. “All of the sudden, we had more time together, and we are practicing for our future retirement.”

David agrees and says they always respect each other’s space.

“We have a big house, so it all works out fine,” he says. “We’re now enjoying the post-children period of our lives. We’re filling our time with what we want to do. If we want to go to a movie on a Saturday night, we just do it. We’re doing things couples do and thoroughly enjoying it.”