Rachel Goldberg-Polin has heard different authors talk about the sheer agony and frustrations of writer’s block.
But when working on her book “When We See You Again” (Random House), the Jerusalem-based educator/activist and mother of Hersh Goldberg-Polin — who was abducted at the Nova Music Festival in Israel by Hamas terrorists on Oct. 7, 2023, and later murdered — says writer’s block was never an issue.
“It poured out very quickly, very powerfully, painfully and violently,” Goldberg-Polin told a hushed Beth Tfiloh Congregation audience on Sunday night, Apr. 26. “This book is not a tell-all or a memoir. This book is about pain. I didn’t want all of that shoved down in me anymore. I felt very comfortable [writing the book]. I don’t know why.”
The Chicago-born Polin-Goldberg and her husband, Jon Polin, were the featured guests at Beth Tfiloh’s annual Dahan Lecture, which was moderated by Rabbi Chai Posner, the Pikesville synagogue’s senior spiritual leader.
“When we see Jon and Rachel, we see strength we didn’t know was possible, grace we didn’t know was possible,” said Rabbi Posner. “Despite the tremendous loss of their son, they became global advocates, and it’s our honor to have them here. You are in a room with hundreds of people who love you and who love Hersh.”
Throughout the hostages ordeal, the Goldberg-Polins served as the face and voice of the hostages’ families. Tirelessly, they spoke with the media and at gatherings around the world and met with global leaders — including former President Joe Biden and the late Pope Francis — to call attention to their 23-year-old son’s plight.
“When We See You Again” offers a searing portrait of how Goldberg-Polin and her family mobilized to save Hersh and struggled with their pain after learning that he and five other Israeli hostages were executed on the same day.
“I wanted Hersh to be a person, not a number,” Goldberg-Polin said about her motivation for writing the new book. “I wanted to share his life, and I felt very comfortable turning myself inside-out [to write the book].”
She noted that she refrained from including all of her most personal and painful experiences and observations in the book.
“I put a lot in the satchel and in the storage locker,” she said, while noting the challenges of reading certain chapters for the audio version of “When We See You Again.”
In Beth Tfiloh’s packed main sanctuary, the Goldberg-Polins spoke movingly about Hersh’s life and character.
A mother of three, Rachel Goldberg-Polin recalled how Hersh, as a youngster, always asked if he could carry bags and packages for her, even if it was simply a small handbag on Shabbat. “I figured that was his way of telling me, ‘I love you,’” she said.
The Goldberg-Polins also shared an amusing anecdote about his Irish-born first grade teacher who complained that American children lacked knowledge of world geography. A determined Hersh proceeded to learn everything possible about the topic, as well as about U.S. history, they said. Later at a Passover holiday spent at Sanibel Island, Florida, he precociously demonstrated his knowledge to other guests and attempted to charge them a dollar for every correct response.
“There are so many stories to tell,” Goldberg-Polin said with a maternal smile.
In his most painful moments, Jon Polin said he turns to Jewish teachings and finds inspiration in their advocacy for living a life of intensity and intentionality.
He noted that he recently met with someone for a business matter, but they spoke for more than an hour about the grieving process and the role of loss in their lives.
“Even with a stranger, you can talk about your grief and pain,” he said. “I’ve talked to a lot of men about this. The point is to talk about the grief.”
Finding a sense of holiness in life in the aftermath of tragedy is different than searching for faith, said Goldberg-Polin.
“Faith is harder,” she said. “You’re saying, ‘I’m not sure but I hope that this is as it was intended to be.’ It’s an opportunity for closure and holiness.”
When asked by Rabbi Posner how community members should express themselves to mourners during the shiva period, Goldberg-Polin said showing up is what counts.
“We had a very different shiva, obviously,” she said. “The shiva custom is that you are supposed to go and sit and not ask [mourners], ‘How are you doing?’ I completely understand that. It all comes down to presence. Just your presence — that’s a blessing.”
The Goldberg-Polins spoke about the sense of comfort they received after a meeting with freed Israeli hostage Or Levy. Levy, who spent three days in captivity with Hersh, said that Hersh inspired him and other hostages by calling on them to keep in mind the “why” for their need to survive the ordeal rather than the “how.”
“That was a turning point for us,” said Goldberg-Polin. “[Levy] told us things that we didn’t even know about Hersh. That really changed me and helped me move forward. … It’s clear to me that this is now part of our lives.”
She thanked the Beth Tfiloh audience for coming out to show their support and love for her family.
“I want to thank every single person in this room for being here,” Goldberg-Polin said. “I feel that sharing in this setting gives us a chance to reflect. That’s very powerful and palpable. I feel I am in a roomful of people who loved Hersh because he [became] so recognizable. It’s powerful to offer my words to people who grew to love him without knowing him, and I’m very grateful to you for allowing us to share these words with you.”
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