“You shall count from the eve of the second day of Pesach, when an omer of grain is to be brought as an offering, seven complete weeks. The day after the seventh week of your counting will make fifty days, and you shall present a new meal offering to God.” (Lev. 23:15-16)
During the Counting of the Omer — the 49 days between the observances of the holidays of Passover and Shavuot — it is customary to study a chapter of Pirkei Avot, or Ethics of the Fathers, each week.
In the spirit of that tradition, Beth Tfiloh Synagogue’s Rabbi Dr. Eli Yoggev has written a series of columns on Pirkei Avot for each of the six weeks of the Omer, from the conclusion of Pesach through Shavuot.
Rabbi Yoggev is the author of “Ethics of the Soul: Uplifting and Relevant Commentary on Ethics of the Fathers.”
Rabbis Are Human Too!
(1:4)
יֹוסֵי בֶן יֹועֶזֶר אִיׁש צְרֵ דָה וְיֹוסֵי בֶן יֹוחָנָן אִיׁש יְרּוׁשָלַיִם קִּבְלּו מֵהֶם. יֹוסֵי בֶן יֹועֶזֶר אִיׁש צְרֵ דָה אֹומֵר: יְהִי בֵיתְָך בֵית וַעַד לַחֲכָמִים, וֶהֱוֵי מִתְאַּבֵק ּבַעֲפַר רַ גְלֵיהֶם, וֶהֱוֵי ׁשֹותֶה בְצָמָא אֶת ּדִבְרֵ יהֶם
“Yosi ben Yoezer a man of Tzeredah and Yosi ben Yochanan [a man] of Jerusalem received [the oral tradition] from them [i.e., Shimon the Righteous and Antigonus]. Yosi ben Yoezer used to say: Let your house be a house of meeting for the Sages and sit in the very dust of their feet, and drink in their words with thirst.”
In describing our attitude toward scholars, the Mishna uses the language והוי מתאבק בעפר רגליהם, which translates to “sit in the very dust of their feet.” The text could have relayed the same message by saying: והוי יושב בעפר רגליהם, replacing the word “מתאבק “with the common “יושב “to connote sitting.
The Ruach Chaim commentary on Ethics of the Fathers offers a wonderful explanation. The root א-ב-ק means “struggle.” (When read as a noun, it means “dust.”) Yosi ben Yoezer tells us that with all our welcoming and hosting rabbis, our “drinking in with thirst” their words of Torah, we do not have to blindly accept what they tell us. We should “מתאבק,” struggle and grapple, and if things don’t make sense, ask, push back when necessary.
There may be, however, another layer here.
The Mishna discusses the “dust of the rabbis’ feet.” This shows us that no matter how holy a rabbi is, they are still human. Maybe they only have a small flaw, represented by the feet here — the lowest part of the body. And perhaps it isn’t even that bad; it is only the “dust” of the feet.
Nevertheless, we have to recognize that everyone is subject to mistakes and all-too-human reactions.
Once we recognize this and are open to sifting through what may not fit for our own spiritual growth (“מתאבק”), we can then appropriately “drink in their holy words in thirst.”
Distancing Ourselves from Toxic Relationships
(1:7)
נִּתַאי הַָארְ ּבֵלִי אֹומֵר: הַרְ חֵק מִּשָׁכֵן רָ ע, וְַאל ּתִתְחַּבֵר לָרָ ׁשָע, וְַאל ּתִתְיָאֵׁש מִן הַּפֻרְ עָנּות.
“Nittai the Arbelite used to say: Keep a distance from an evil neighbor, do not become attached to the wicked, and do not abandon faith in [divine] retribution.”
Some explain the connection between the three suggestions in this Mishna as encouragement to distance oneself from an evil influence.
It may look like everything is working out in life for an evil neighbor and a wicked person. Nevertheless, don’t be drawn after them and their ways. Divine retribution awaits them commensurate with their bad actions.
However, another possible understanding reads the last word about פרענות differently: as not referring to retribution but rather to tough times (פרענות can denote a general calamity or tough situation). Often, it takes a heroic effort to remove oneself from a negative influence (i.e., a tough work environment or a toxic personal relationship).
There is often something that just draws us in, and the fear of losing whatever “this” is can make it all the harder to create distance. The Mishna is instructing us to do whatever we can to separate from a bad neighbor or an “evil” influence.
We’re instructed to not worry about the emptiness and void, the inner פרענות, that will inevitably be experienced upon doing so. Why not? When one makes this step toward positivity, one frees up space that was previously occupied by the negative influence. This space is then open to be filled, God willing, with positive experiences and influences.
When one door closes, another more positive door opens.
For information about “Ethics of the Soul,” click here.
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