Working from home has always had its share of pros and cons, but this pandemic has accelerated the burnout big-time.
We’re trying to do everything — working, exercising, relaxing, connecting with others, etc. — all in one setting these days. More at-home family members, health concerns and distractions is a perfect recipe for exhaustion, anxiety, hopelessness, isolation, feelings of poor self-worth and more.
I personally am constantly teetering between feeling like I am not doing enough around the house, not doing enough for work, for my husband and kids, for my parents and my friends.
We are all spread so thin!
My home workouts are constantly interrupted by kids, email checking and phone calls that would not happen in a gym. My work is distracted by laundry, house cleaning, meal preparation, kids needing help, the dog and pretty much anything that swirls through the tornado of thoughts in my brain daily. We are missing that work life/home life separation.
We know that the WFH burnout causes declines in performance, as well as in physical and mental health. In talking to people about their experiences, many shared feelings of anxiety, concerns about their performance at work, hopelessness, isolation, poor sleep and irritability.
OK, so it feels better knowing how “normal” our WFH experience is, but is there anything that we can do about it?
I combed the Internet and spoke to several other mental health professionals. To be honest, many of their suggestions just did not seem realistic. For example, the one that kept coming up was “set strict boundaries between work and home life.” For the mom who is working from home while her 6-year-old is on “virtual school,” is she supposed to tell him to log on independently, stay focused with no adult redirection and make his own lunches?
No way!
But there are some things that each of us can try to do on a daily basis to make the burnout sting just a little less:
Create a Space
If you have the luxury of having a home office, try to keep all work-related supplies and activities central to this space. If not, try to create a comfortable space somewhere in your home and isolate work activities to that location as much as possible. None of these suggestions should be followed 100% of the time. I know that I will continue to respond to emails from my treadmill, otherwise I will never get a workout in!
Find What You Can Control
Keep your desk space tidy and organized, turn off your phone at least 30 minutes before bed, plan meals for at least two nights at a time — anything that will help you feel slightly in control of your day.
Use a planner, task list or white board schedule to plan your day. This is also great if you have older kids at home who are fairly independent with virtual school. You can show them when you are unavailable and when it is OK to come to you for help.
Use these tools to schedule time for self-care. Go to a spa, something little that you enjoy. It can be a virtual yoga class, sitting and doing a puzzle for 15 minutes, anything that brings you joy.
Take Time Off
This is by far the most challenging for me. If I take off a day, there will just be more work the next day. I have been making a concerted effort to shut my office door by dinner time on Friday and not to go near my desk until sometime on Sunday. At first, it was like an itch I was told not to scratch, that voice in my head telling me what I “should” be doing was loud. Each week, it has gotten easier, and I find that I am much more relaxed and available to really connect with my family.
Connections
I may have saved the most important for last!
Just speaking to some friends and colleagues about WFH burnout, I felt so much more energized and stable. Over the summer months, many people found great ways to socialize and connect safely outdoors. Now that the weather is frigid, it is much more challenging. Getting a text or phone call from a friend is more important than ever. I feel so much better just hearing what is going on in other people’s lives that I care about. When we WFH, it is so easy to get lost in our work, home, family task lists that we feel like we are living in a bubble.
A few more points on this topic:
- These social conversations are so therapeutic when you get a glimpse into what others are up to.
- Connect with your co-workers and managers. Manage expectations, let them know that you are working on something and have to take some time for your family and will get back to work when the kids are asleep.
- As managers, we are more communicative and giving more frequent feedback and training to make sure that our clinical team feels supported, connected and energized even when doing telehealth.
- #LITTLEACTSBIGIMPACT — The smallest things can have such a big impact in preventing WFH burnout, as well as for those that you care about. Sending a text, a card in the mail, looking through old pictures and the memories you have shared, making plans for when it is safe to get together, make us feel more connected. The Peloton community is a perfect example of this. It takes zero effort, time or money to send the high-five on the leaderboard, yet members constantly share how seeing that high-five comes through on their screen pushed them to finish a difficult ride or lifted them up when they were feeling down.
- Shalom Tikvah, Whole Family Mental Health Care has continued our partnership with Flowers & Fancies in Owings Mills. This is such a “win-win” for our community. People order beautiful arrangements or flower subscriptions directly through our website (shalomtikvah.org), and it feels amazing to brighten someone’s day. Flowers & Fancies puts a beautiful card on the arrangement, explaining that a portion of proceeds is donated to providing the highest standard of comprehensive mental health to families in our community. Here’s what one recipient recently wrote to us: “I just got delivery of a beautiful flower bouquet at my door. I am so emotional! I don’t know what brought this wonderful gift. I just want to thank you for cheering me up so much. Thank you again!”
- Get help. When the feelings of loneliness, anxiety, stress, and hopelessness start to outnumber the appreciation of flexibility, gratitude, connection and hope, find a therapist. Your mental health is critical, and caring for yourself in this way is imperative. If you had strep throat, you would see a physician. If you are starting to burn out, you should see a mental health professional.
Bottom line, this is really hard. We have to accept that it is OK to struggle and simultaneously put in our best efforts to make things a little better each day.
There are no doubt silver linings to WFH, and if we work with intention, we just might avoid complete burnout!
If you or a family member would like support, reach out to info@shalomtikvah.org to learn more about our innovative and comprehensive approach to mental health care.
An Owings Mills resident, Nicole P. Glick, PsyD, licensed psychologist, is a co-founder of Shalom Tikvah (shalomtikvah.org), a nonprofit that uses an innovative approach to treating mental illness and other stressors by treating the entire family system with comprehensive therapy as well as wraparound services. For information, email nglick@shalomtikvah.org).
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