Jmore offers its annual “Love Issue,” profiling four couples who embody the power of love.
Hamilton Hills residents and participants of the Macks Center for Jewish Education’s Community Connector program, Jodie and Sam Zisow-McClean got married six years ago. They have a daughter, Miriam Nurit, who recently turned 4. While Jodie, a Pikesville native, works as a Spanish teacher in the Baltimore City public school system, Sam, who is from El Paso, Texas, is the director of program services at the local nonprofit Moveable Feast. Jodie and Sam are among the founders of the Hinenu: The Baltimore Shtiebl.
How did you meet?
Jodie: We met through a community charity bike ride called ‘Ride for the Feast’ to benefit Moveable Feast. Sam was working for Moveable Feast, and I had been a volunteer rider/fundraiser for maybe about five years at that point. We knew each other as friends/colleagues for years before we started getting involved romantically. It was kind of an old-fashioned courtship in that we really got to know each other before we even started dating.
Was there an immediate attraction?
Jodie: For me, yes. Just catching their glance across a room makes my heart stop still. There was also something about how Sam carried themself as a confident, trustworthy, solid leader but kind of behind-the-scenes, with a lot of humility. They are passionate about doing good work in the world.
Sam: Definitely, although I also knew at the time we met that neither of us was in a good place to pursue anything together. The fact that we took some time to get to know each other really helped build a mutual friendship and admiration that carried over into our romantic relationship.
Did you know fairly soon that this person was ‘the one’?
Jodie: When we did finally start hanging out and then dating, we would talk for hours about everything, and so many of our values and beliefs lined up well.
Pretty early on, I told Sam I wanted to have a child at some point very soon, whether with a partner or without. We started hanging out sometime in 2013, and officially dating around High Holiday time of 2013 when I was 36. I turned 37 that November, so … the clock was definitely already ticking!
Sept. 6, 2015, was our wedding date, and we started the process of trying to get me pregnant sometime in 2016. We were super-blessed and fortunate I was able to get pregnant without issues, and Miriam Nurit was born on Dec. 16, 2017, the fourth night of Chanukah!
Sam: Honestly, I don’t really think of it as ‘the one,’ but I knew really quickly that Jodie and I were really compatible. Once we started dating, the relationship moved pretty quickly. We were very intentional and had a lot of serious conversations about what we wanted and what our priorities were. The good thing was that we put very little pressure on ourselves to figure out what the relationship was and took it one thing at a time.
Your favorite quality about each other?
Jodie: Sam is very intelligent while also remaining humble and willing to change their mind and consider other perspectives. They are so good at making real connections with so many different kinds of people.
I also love seeing how present and in the moment Sam is as a parent (Baba is their parent name) to our kiddo.
Sam: Jodie’s sense of magic in the world. She told me early on about hiddur mitzvah (beautifying the commandment) and it really sums up the way Jodie exists in the world. She wants to make things more beautiful, not in the orderly way that I sometimes do but in a deeper, more emotional and sometimes more chaotic way.
What do you tease each other about?
Jodie: Sam learned how to play Dungeons & Dragons in their late 30s, and I definitely tease them about that. Also, their book hoarding! Though I knew what I was getting into when I married a smarty-pants nerd.
Sam: Jodie has the worst sense of direction. So I definitely tease her about that, and also she has a tendency to not be the most realistic planner. But along with that comes a really artistic and fanciful mind, so it’s a good balance.
What do you sometimes clash on?
Jodie: We joined our finances very quickly after we got married and bought a home together — both of us with many decades of doing finances on our own. No small challenge! But we have done lots of work on how we plan finances together and communicate about tough stuff in general.
Sam: I’d say our levels of risk tolerance. Sometimes that plays out in finances, sometimes in things like our current pandemic. I’m definitely more risk averse than Jodie. But even when we clash, we are able to come to a point of recognizing where the other person is coming from.
Your ideal night out?
Jodie: Oh, I wish I could remember nights out! But in the ‘before times,’ we’d take Miriam for an overnight visit to Bubbie and Zaydie’s, go out to a nice dinner and just take some time to catch up with each other.
If I could wave a magic wand and end this pandemic, I’d add in a ballroom dancing class after dinner, and get dressed up for a nerdy dance night out on the town!
Sam: Something that involves food as well as learning. We both love food and both love music/art, so probably dinner and an event of some sort.
What’s the secret to a successful relationship?
Jodie: I’d say it is definitely prioritizing our relationship and working to nurture it, while having friendships and connections and interests outside of the relationship, and supporting ourselves and each other.
Your advice to other seekers of love and long-lasting relationships?
Jodie: Don’t expect or put pressure on one person to be your entire support system. Make sure you build other friendships and connections and individual pursuits as well.
Sam: We both made very clear in our relationship that the value in our partnership is that we choose it every day. We don’t take our relationship for granted, and know that we’re each responsible for ourselves and our own happiness.
This is the fourth in a four-part series. See Also: Aviva and Rabbi Moshe Schwartz | Maurice “Maysh” Fried and Rosalie Raim | Talia and Aaron Jordan
Pikesville residents Talia and Aaron Jordan met in college and have been married for four-and-a half years. Jmore talked with the pair about their love story.
Who says it's ever too late to find love? Just ask Rosalie Raim, 91, and Maurice "Maysh" Fried, 94, who started dating three years ago.
Aviva and Rabbi Moshe Schwartz recently celebrated their 18th (chai) wedding anniversary. Jmore talked with the pair about how they met, the secrets to a successful relationship, and their advice to others seeking love.