The Next Year

September 19, 2016 Dana Hemelt

“How old are you?” the woman ringing up my mother’s groceries asked me. This was years before scanners.

“I’m almost 8,” I answered, figuring that 7 years and 7 months was closer to 8 than 7. In fact, the day after my half-birthday was the day I could officially bump my age to almost-the-next-year.

Decades later, my kids do the same thing. They can’t wait to be the next age, thinking each one will be bigger and better. The celebrations for my two August babies consumed my summers. I flip through their baby books to refresh my memory, thankful for my slightly obsessive record keeping.

We threw my daughter’s 3rd birthday party in July because her brother was due the day before her birthday. We could have waited; he was 17 days early.

Two years later, we celebrated with a puppy party for him and a rainbow party for her. I made both invitations and both cakes, but that was before Pinterest upped the ante.

Four years later, I wised up and had my son’s party at the pool. I got stupid again and threw my daughter a slumber party, with too many girls who stayed up too late making pyramids in my family room. The celebrations have ranged from laser tag to bowling, with themes from butterflies to dinosaurs.

August became a tricky month after the party train ended for each child at age 10. The birthdays were a one-two punch, reminding me that my babies were on the downhill side of childhood. Each year, I try out their new ages on my tongue.

I said, “My kids are 7 and 4,” and had trouble believing they were so big. I said, “My kids are 13 and 10,” and marveled at the fact that they were both in double digits.

I said, “My kids are 16 and 13,” astounded that I now had two teenagers. Now I say, “My kids are 18 and 15,” although I feel like there is no way that can be possible.

My own years have ticked off with little notice, while my children’s have sped by much too quickly.

I don’t remember when I stopped answering “I’m almost …” At 21, maybe? Definitely by 30. Age bumping is best left to the young. Now, I state my age as the correct number until 11:59 p.m. the day before my birthday.

My children may still like to be “almost the next year,” but I will squeeze out every amazing drop of the ages they are now.