The High Holidays are a time to think of family and friends. A time to evaluate yourself. A time to consider your role in the mystery we call life. Deep thinking is clearly not my strength, but I have tried a bit this year with mixed results. As the great “Stooge” Curly Howard once said — “I’m trying to think but nothing happens.”
My father died this year. Arnold Rifkin was 93. He overcame a destitute, fatherless Depression childhood. He worked insane hours so his kids could live a better life. He had three boys, and they all went to college and have successful adult lives and loves. He was quiet except when he was cantankerous, but you always knew he was there for you. You knew he loved you.
I reflect after his passing on whether I did enough for him in his declining years. He suffered with dementia and anxiety. He had trouble walking and taking care of himself. He wasn’t easy to deal with. But he had long since earned our love and respect. I had my failings in his last few months, and I regret those. I know he would forgive me as his love was pure.
My mother is a rock. We should all have her spirit, her love, her joy, and her intellect. She is 91 but walks and talks like a 65-year-old. She reads voraciously and her mind and voice are as strong as 20 years ago. She can still drive when she chooses. She lives alone now and took amazing care of my dad as his days waned.
What is so impressive about my mom is her spirit and joy for life. She exudes happiness. She certainly has inner moments of fear and loneliness, but she maintains an amazing positive attitude about life. It is this attitude, that she transmitted to her three boys, that has been the core of success and happiness for each of us. She gave us her strength and her hope. Those traits are powerful and have led our ability to succeed in marriage, business and with our own children.
Recently, we all went to Disneyworld. Four generations. My mom, my wife and I, our three kids and their spouses, and our two-and-a-half grandchildren. Our third is due in January. We stayed together in a large, rented house. It was beautiful to see my mother as a real part in the lives of her great-grandchildren. They know her and love her.
The joy between the two little boys and my mother gave me great peace. I still don’t understand the mystery of life. I suspect I never will. But I do understand one thing — that life is special and that we are blessed to be here in the moment. That we have the opportunity to focus on the joys and to share them with the people we love. There is hope and we can choose to cling to it.
L’shanah tovah tikateivu v’teichateimu
Scott Rifkin, MD
Publisher
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