Grief comes in a variety of forms. For some people, grief can be seeing a loved one’s favorite food at a store, or their favorite show on TV. For others, it can be the trials and tribulations of clearing out a family member’s home.
Gayle A. Becker is a local real estate agent who specializes in helping families and individuals renovate and sell the houses of their recently deceased loved ones. Since receiving her real estate license in 2013, she has devoted herself to helping others transition into the next phase of their lives.
“My parents passed away nine months apart,” says Becker, 64. “They were divorced [and] living in separate homes. They were renters, not owners, but we still had to take care of all of their belongings. I remember wishing I could wave a magic wand and make it all disappear.”
A Pikesville resident, Becker is the founder and operator of New Digs MD LLC, a real estate company devoted to selling “problem properties.”
“There are hundreds of real estate agents out there that can sell an updated, freshly painted, pretty house. That’s easy,” she says. “But selling an outdated, poorly maintained house full of stuff — that’s magic!”
Jmore: Why did you transition from working in sales and marketing to your real estate niche?
Becker: It was somewhat accidental. However, many of the skills I developed in sales and marketing are very transferable to what I do now. Reading people, negotiating, following a process, following up, etc.
How do you walk people through the process of cleaning out a loved one’s home?
I don’t personally do the cleanout. However, I often coach the seller — usually the surviving spouse or adult child — through the process. I say, ‘Take the treasures and leave the rest.’
Some sellers want to go through every little thing, like a trip down memory lane. I have others that just want to walk away and never look back. I encourage them to at least go through coat pockets and old purses for cash. One seller called me and said, ‘Thank you so much! We found $5,000!!’
How do you help sellers differentiate between ‘treasures’ and ‘the rest’?
A treasure means different things to different people. In general, a treasure may be a collection of coins or figurines or anything meaningful to them. ‘Stuff’ means everything else from furniture to a lifetime of National Geographics, stockpiles of food, linens, dishes, collections of any kind, etc. No one wants to deal with finding places for all of that.
Describe the process of selling a house of someone recently passed away.
We come in and walk through the house to evaluate the condition and how much ‘stuff’ will remain. Almost every home is outdated or has deferred maintenance. We try to determine the age of the roof, the HVAC system, the windows, etc. This all factors into the sale price. Once we come to an agreement on the sale price, I send the property out to an exclusive network of my built-in buyers. Then, we evaluate the offers.
The best news for sellers is the accepted price is what they will receive at settlement. The buyers pay our commission and the seller side of the usual and customary closing costs. For example, if we accept a sale price of $250,000, that is what they will receive at the closing table, unless there are any outstanding liens, water bills or taxes.
In a traditional sale, the accepted price of $250,000 would net down to about $232,000 after commissions and settlement costs. The other benefits of working with New Digs is we can generally settle in less than 30 days since there are no inspections or financing contingencies, and really nothing else to do except to take the treasures.
In a typical house sale, you must clean everything out, hire contractors, oversee the work to the update and repairs, paint and stage. This whole process could take three to six months before you are at the settlement table. Our goal is just to lighten the load of an already very emotional time for the seller.
How do you find your customers?
Ninety-five of our sellers are by referrals from previous sellers, estate attorneys, financial advisors, accountants, senior Placement advisors and others that serve the senior market. The other five percent comes from our for-sale signs.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received in terms of how to deal with grief?
Grief looks different for everyone. There may be three siblings, and they each have different relationships with each parent. When they need to make joint decisions, I advise them to be sensitive and respectful to each other’s position on a particular situation.
I had a family who held on to a house for over a year, incurring lots of expenses because one sibling had so many memories of going hunting with his father. The house had about 15 pieces of taxidermy displayed in the house. He couldn’t bear the thought of those being destroyed, even though he didn’t want them in his house. Stopping by the house to look at them over the course of a year was very healing for him.
Spouses need to be patient with one another when they have a loss. Let’s say your husband’s parents pass and leave him the house. He may have to spend many weekends and evenings dealing with paperwork and property. This may take away from the family, so just be patient and sensitive.
Do you maintain friendships with clients after getting to know them through their healing process?
Most definitely. I leave it up to them to reach out because for some, I represent a solution to a problem they had, and to others it’s a reminder of a painful time.
How do you think your work carries into other aspects of your life?
My work as an agent helps people move on with their lives by making the sale of property as easy as possible. Money that I earn from these sales allows me to make monetary contributions to the organizations that we support. My husband and I hope that we are demonstrating to our adult children the importance of giving back. It’s all a reminder of how fortunate we are.
Among the local nonprofits you’re involved with are the Weekend Backpacks food program and Next One Up.
Weekend Backpacks were introduced to us through our synagogue at the time, Oheb Shalom. They were starting a chapter and introduced it during Yom Kippur services. The more we learned, the more fascinated we became with the statistics of hunger in our community and how small donations can go a long way to feeding families.
Next One Up was brought to my husband’s attention through an organization called Sports Boosters. In addition to monetary donations, we have helped to foster other relationships and connections for the organization and the individual students.
Does your work with clients impact how you live your own life?
I am very conscientious about all the stuff in my home. I am constantly purging, cleaning out, giving away things that I no longer use or need rather them piling them up for my kids to have to deal with when I pass. We don’t have a crystal ball to know exactly when that will be, so I try to stay on top of things.
Obviously, being Jewish is a major component of your life. What’s your favorite part?
Coming together for celebrations, large and small, which usually includes food!
Izzy Reed is Jmore’s editorial staff Intern.
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