One of the most significant events in a Jew’s life is the b’nai mitzvah, when a young person steps forward into adulthood. But not all Israeli youngsters can participate in this rite of passage due to family situations or financial hardships during their country’s current conflict.
“There’s so many people now who can’t afford a bar mitzvah,” says Pikesville resident Barbara Greenwald, a member of the nonprofit American Communities Helping Israel. ACHI focuses on providing support to Israelis during this challenging time.
“Kids have been impacted either by a parent dying [in the conflict] or a parent being severely wounded,” says Greenwald. “They have to watch their friends have all the good stuff from a bar mitzvah. A lot of families can’t afford tefillin [phylacteries] for their sons, can’t afford a tutor … a bar mitzvah teacher.”
Since last spring, ACHI has focused its mission on raising donations on behalf of Israeli students preparing for their b’nai mitzvah.
“We don’t want these kids and their families to miss out,” says Pikesville resident and ACHI member Marcia Wagner. “Especially when their fathers were heroes.”
The Hamas terrorist attacks of Oct. 7, 2023, prompted ACHI to adjust its mission to help support Israelis more directly.
“Our goals originally were really more educational … and advocacy,” says Wagner, a Shomrei Emunah congregant. “Promote Israel, buy Israeli products, support Israel any way you can. But with the war, it was clear there were needs that weren’t being met.”
Says Greenwald: “We decided we had to up our game. We support Israel and raise money for Israel, and we also host a website, a kind of online marketplace, of all Israeli merchants.”
Such products have included jewelry, clothing, art, Judaica and food, she says. “It’s a way to keep Israel in their hearts and minds at home,” says Greenwald.
For the b’nai mitzvah project, ACHI partnered with Lema’an Achai, a nonprofit that combats poverty in Israel.
“Before all the war, Lema’an Achai existed to make lower-income Israelis more self-sufficient,” says Greenwald. Previously, funds raised by ACHI for Lema’an Achai went toward supporting displaced residents, or to spouses of Israeli soldiers.
Currently, visitors to the ACHI website can make individual donations anywhere from $18 to $1,800. A donation of $1,800 is enough to cover an entire bar or bat mitzvah ceremony, Greenwald says, while smaller donations can be used to help cover the cost of such items as tefillin, catering services or a photographer.
Lema’an Achai has expanded its bar/bat mitzvah project to include not only children of killed or wounded soldiers, but also children of active soldiers and reservists who have lost income because of serving in the war or being displaced from their homes.
Rabbi Avraham Leventhal, CEO of Lema’an Achai and a former Baltimore resident, estimates upwards of 500 families are currently in need, with many more in the future.
The amount of financial support a family receives depends on various components, including the ability of parents to support their children, says Greenwald.
“Another factor that influences things is the condition of the father,” she says. “If he is not functioning well, the burden on the mother is much greater, and she needs more attention from Lema’an Achai to help her organize things. … If the father is dead or wounded –severely wounded — they need more help just getting the bar mitzvah off the ground.”
Wagner says the ongoing conflict has impacted what Israeli families are forced to prioritize.
“When you’re in that situation, you adjust your family budget to a new circumstance,” she says. “It becomes very complicated. It’s like, ‘With all the issues we have to deal with, are we going to spend money on a bar mitzvah? It’s just not our priority right now.’”
Helping Israeli students preparing for their b’nai mitzvah is something that should appeal to Jews of all affiliations, say Greenwald and Wagner.
“We think this is a universal thing, that all Jews will be able to relate to,” says Greenwald. “[B’nai mitzvah are] the one thing that all Jews do, no matter their level of observance. It binds you back through history.”
She says ACHI’s sponsorship program for b’nai mitzvah is open-ended.
“It’s not like we have a fundraising goal and once we meet it, we’re going to stop,” says Greenwald. “The aftereffects of this war are going to last a long time. And so all our projects are ongoing.”
For information, visit achi613.org.
Jesse Berman is a freelance writer.
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