For our annual Aging Gratefully cover package, Jmore recently spoke with four local Jewish seniors to glean their insights on how to best enjoy one’s twilight years.
The Art of Avoiding Extremes
Paul Terle always advises people to take life right down the middle.
“I’m an easygoing person,” says the 93-year-old father of three and grandfather of four. “I always say, ‘Never be too happy or too sad, too high or too low.’ Too much happiness can lead to some sadness. It’s easier to go up the ladder than down.”
Terle has had his own share of ups and downs. He moved into North Oaks with his wife, Margot, in March of 2021. Unfortunately, she became ill soon after and passed away four months later. The Terles were married for 65 years.
“I’ve found it’s a very caring community here,” Terle says. “They were really there for us. Of course, when you close your apartment door, you’re alone. But I’ve adapted.”
Since moving into the retirement community, he says he has become more of a joiner.
“I’m learning to play Bridge for the first time in my life,” says Terle. “It’s a tough game. Most of them have been playing for 50 years. I also serve on committees and go to a lot of lectures, and the entertainment at night is very good. I just keep active. … You can’t believe how much ‘Jewish Geography’ goes on around here!”
A Baltimore native and son of Russian immigrants who grew up in the Easterwood Park area, Terle says he learned about the importance of grit and determination early in life.
“I had a tough childhood,” he says. “My father got sick when I was just a year old, and I was the youngest of seven. My mother kept everything together. I don’t know how she did it. I never, ever heard her complain. She used to say, ‘When you cry, you cry alone.’”
A retired insurance office manager and Korean War-era veteran who served in the U.S. Coast Guard, Terle says he was never particularly religious or spiritual most of his life. “I grew up in a conventional Jewish family where we observed the holidays but that was it,” he says.
But since moving into North Oaks and the passing of his wife, “Spirituality plays more of a role in my life and I go to synagogue services here every week,” he says. “It’s just nice to go, and it’s a social thing to do.”
Terle says he tends to be content with his lot in life, and advises others to do the same.
“Having a positive attitude is the biggest thing,” he says. “People just don’t want to hear a complainer. I used to say to my wife, ‘There’s always a lot of gray in the middle.’ I believe in staying away from extremes.”
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