For our annual Aging Gratefully cover package, Jmore recently spoke with four local Jewish seniors to glean their insights on how to best enjoy one’s twilight years.
Attitude & Gratitude
Vicki K. Kahn wears a ring bearing the inscription, ‘Gam zeh ya’avor,’ Hebrew for “This too shall pass.”
She says the line, attributed to King Solomon, is one of her credos in life.
“You can’t dwell on things that happen. You’ve got to move on,” says Kahn. “Everyone has problems, but you can’t let your problems drag you down. You put one step in front of the other.”
A Baltimore native who lives in Pikesville, Kahn, 77, describes herself as “a gratitude person. I get frustrated with people who complain and say, ‘Why me?’ People are the sum total of the choices they make. You either choose to have a good day or you don’t.”
At Pikesville’s North Oaks Senior Living community, where Kahn has worked in sales management since 2005, she sees daily examples of resilience and life affirmation.
“You see some people come in here with bad infirmities,” she says. “But they get out of the community what they put in. That’s what life is about, to keep moving.”
A divorced mother of two and grandmother of eight, Kahn worked in health care operations, at such institutions as Sinai Hospital and Levindale Hebrew Geriatric Center and Hospital, for 43 years.
“I always liked health care, maybe because my dad was a pharmacist,” she says. “It always fascinated me.”
At the encouragement of her mother, Kahn — who graduated from Goucher College and married at a young age — returned to school after her children reached adulthood. She received her master’s degree in human relations with a health care concentration from Towson University, while holding down a full-time job at Sinai.
“When I went back for my master’s, I thought it would be a good example for my kids,” she says. “I wanted them to see I wasn’t just sitting around.”
Kahn came to North Oaks in 2005 and “found out I was great at sales. This was my first job in sales, and I just loved it. I loved the people I worked with and helping the people here.”
In February of 2020, she decided the time was ripe to move on from North Oaks and spend more time traveling and being with loved ones. “I just thought it was time to retire and try other things,” she says.
But then the pandemic hit and Kahn — a self-acknowledged “antsy” person — found herself “stuck at home” with only her cat, Cali, for companionship.
“I felt very isolated,” she says. “Retirement just wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
At the suggestion of her daughter, Lisa K. Budlow, chief executive officer of the community-based agency Comprehensive Housing Assistance Inc., Kahn started taking virtual classes in art, yoga, exercise and technology through the Edward A. Myerberg Center, a CHAI program for seniors.
“The Myerberg and my cat were my saving graces,” Kahn says. “Growing up, I always wanted to be a commercial artist, but my mother wanted me to go to Goucher, which was not a school for art. But through the Myerberg, I did drawing and painting on Zoom, while ordering all my art supplies on Amazon. Then, the Myerberg opened and I started going there and met a lot of nice people, most of them my age and very good painters.”
Recently, Kahn exhibited five paintings at a Myerberg art show and set up an art studio in her home. “I really want to be Grandma Moses,” she says with a laugh.
Meanwhile, as the pandemic receded a bit, Kahn received a call from her old boss at North Oaks.
“Someone left and she asked me to come back part-time,” she says. “So I returned in August of 2021 and I’m really enjoying it. Everyone thought I was crazy, but I wanted to try it. It gives me a charge. I still like getting dressed up at least two days a week and learning new stuff. I don’t have to work now, but I want to. At the same time, I have time for my family and to clean my house and organize things. It’s the best of all worlds.”
To those who wish to age gratefully and gracefully, Kahn advises finding a balance in one’s life.
“I haven’t always had a good balance in my life, but now it’s very important to me,” she says. “I’m enjoying my art and I’ve made new friends, and I like to work. You have to keep engaged and keep your mind busy. Otherwise, you lose it. …
“I like to be around people who think young. It’s all really up here,” Kahn says, pointing to her head. “You always need to get up and try to be thankful and have a good attitude. It’s all about striking a good balance for yourself.”
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