I don’t even know how to begin writing something like this. How do I put into words what we are seeing in the world around us? How do I provide comfort and support for others at a time when I have found myself personally questioning if such things exist for the Jewish people?
As a therapist, my job is to provide a safe place for my clients to work through what is going on in their lives. But behind my career is a person. I am a mother, a friend, a woman and a Jew — and at the moment, it feels like this might be too much to handle.
As a mother, I have been tasked with keeping my kids’ world as normal as possible. Putting on a smile and walking through life as if everything is OK, while inside questioning if it ever will be.
As a friend, I am reaching out to check on others, while also leaning on those who are able to support me in my heartache. As a woman, I find myself shattered by the way so many in Israel have been brutally treated, and now seem to lack the support of the “feminist” community that champions for women’s rights.
And as a Jew … well we all know those struggles all too well right now.
On Oct. 7, our world changed. I am not sure we fully understood it at the time, but from that day forward we will never be the same. While our brothers and sisters in Israel were dealing these horrific events, Jews around the world watched in absolute horror knowing things would turn on them soon.
And they did. We might not have been physically attacked, but an emotional assault has come to the surface.
I don’t remember another time in my life where I have been scared about being a Jew, but I have also never been prouder.
While I have been shocked with the number of “progressive” individuals I have supported over the years who are at this time struggling with four simple words — “I stand with Israel” — I have also been amazed to see the outpouring of support. The strength coming out of the Jewish community is like nothing I have ever seen before.
We are hurting now, but we are also bonded together and have seen how much we can accomplish as one.
So how do we get through this? A question that has weighed so heavy in the last couple of weeks actually has a pretty simple answer. We continue to support each other and show up for the things that are important to us.
We celebrate Shabbat and sing and dance and remember all the reasons we love being Jewish. We take our children to their sporting events and birthday parties, and hug them every chance we get.
Even in the absolute hardest of times, there are things to be grateful for. I am grateful for each and every friend, both Jewish and not, who have taken the time to check in on me. I am grateful for the people who are asking questions to learn more about something that a few weeks ago seemed so far away from their lives.
I am also grateful that I have a voice in this. We all do!!! We have the ability to talk with others in our lives, to get support or to give support, and to encourage everyone to do that as much as possible.
As a Jewish community, we need each other more than ever!
Here are some specific tips to help in times like this:
Surround yourself with supportive people.
It is times like these that we really learn who is there for us. Make sure to thank the people who reach out to check in on you and let them know how much it means to have their support. Don’t be afraid to lean on these people. That is what they are there for.
Live life and do normal things.
This one can feel increasingly difficult at times when we are weighed down by the heaviness of the world around us. But life does go on. Milestones will be reached, and celebrations can happen. Shifting our focus, even if it is temporary, to something positive can help build up the strength we need to get through everything else.
Speak your truth.
We are not alone in what is going on right now. Speaking up about what you believe to be true will help you find others who feel the same.
It is so easy to get lost in the noise around some of these issues, but finding your own voice and allowing it to be spoken can open up a world of support that otherwise you may have missed.
If you or anyone you love is looking to connect with a therapist who can provide deeper support for the struggles being experienced right now, please reach out at is tkpsych.com or 410-395-4085.
Talya Knable is a psychotherapist who lives in Lutherville with her husband, Stephen, and their two children, Jack and Leigh. Last year, she participated in the Inspired Women’s Project trip to Israel of The Associated: Jewish Federation of Baltimore.
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