Here’s an unexpected tidbit about myself: I spent several of my more impressionable years running wild in the Utah capital of Salt Lake City.
What’s an edgy, caffeine-loving, potty-mouthed East Coast gal born in Poughkeepsie, New York, doing in the “Land of Latter-day Saints”?
My great-grandfather and his brother were Jews who emigrated from Poland. They worked as silver miners until the 1950s (well, great-uncle Max lasted that long). Furthermore, Saul and Max Krotki were among the founding fathers of the town of Marysvale, Utah.
Don’t look at me like that. This is one for the history books. Seriously.
My grandfather Carl Krotki was born in Salt Lake City, although he was a New Yorker as long as I knew him (and a minerologist). Whenever he would call, he would always ask, “How are my mountains doing?”
This is the true legacy I get from my Jewish Utahn ancestors — a love for the desert and mountain ranges of the West. That is where my soul sings, breathing in that crisp, sage-tinged air.
So when I had to pick this year’s National Parks vacay destination, it was only natural (heh) to return to my homeland — the Land of Zion (whichever interpretation you prefer).
We started in SLC so that I could take a trip down “Amanda Lane.” First up was Ruth’s Diner where my mom and her friends brunched on Sundays. Then, we headed to This is the Place Heritage Park for ironic kicks. Think of it as a sort of Western, land-locked Ellis Island.
Next, I checked in on two of the places I lived in my halcyon days: One in The Avenues — an idyllic neighborhood from little me’s perspective — and one at an artist loft/residential complex my mom helped found called Artspace.
And finally, I made an overdue visit to B’nai Israel Cemetery and Saul Krotki’s gravestone. He’s still there resting in peace. I sent regards from the fam.
Having satisfactorily toured my past, it was time to get outta Dodge and into them thar hills.
This was our itinerary:
- Arches National Park
- Canyonlands National Park
- Capitol Reef National Park
- Bryce Canyon National Park
- Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park
- Grand Canyon National Park – North Rim
- Zion National Park
That’s all five of Utah’s national parks, plus a couple bonus excursions, in 10 days.
Many of these parks are three hours apart, so pack your beef jerky and License Plate Bingo cards. We logged 1,123 miles in our rented SUV. On average, we trekked three or four trails per park, and eked out a meager total of 85 miles hiked.
I blame the altitude. Pay very close attention: You need to drink all the water. Your urine should run clear as a natural spring (you will be peeing constantly — just go with the flow). The suggested intake is one gallon per person per day. This is how to avoid altitude sickness and what I like to call “the Mountain Bends.” At first, we were gasping for breath like we had run a marathon uphill while smoking. (Bryce reaches 9,000 feet above sea level. We live at sea level. Do the math.)
It would’ve been really easy to die on this vacation. The people who designed these trails must have been partaking in some good peyote. Many trails are about a foot-wide, hug cliffs, have two-way traffic, no barriers and go straight up — both ways.
And for added enjoyment, there are frequently mules coming at you, creatures such as snakes and tarantulas and masses of morons who think it’s a good idea to climb crumbling, eroding structures hovering on the precipice of endless voids.
Consider yourself warned: Do not have a fear of heights or balance issues.
Let’s hit the trails:
Arches — Reserve timed entry at Arches, but add at least an hour to your drive; the entry line can take that long. This is the “money shot” park — the iconic arches appear on Utah’s license plates. Plan to spend at least a full day here exploring the different geological wonders.
My favorite is Sand Dune Arch where kids play with beach toys and make sand angels. Also, this is the desert. Ergo: Hot.
Canyonlands —It’s all a blur, but I know we checked out the views at Island in the Sky and hiked to Mesa Arch. It’s possible to do Canyonlands in the same day as Arches.
Capitol Reef– Established in 1971, it’s one of the newest of the Utah parks. It has a heavy Mormon homesteaders influence. They set up a town called Fruita where visitors freely pick heritage fruits from the orchards.
There are also accessible viewpoints for pictographs, which look like alien graffiti.
Bryce Canyon — Glorious, breathtaking, killer trails. Bryce is home to the hoodoo — those crazy rock spire formations standing at attention across the landscape.
The Peekaboo Loop/Navajo Loop/Queens Garden trails wind through — and sometimes above — the hoodoos. Terrifying, strenuous and totally worth it. Bryce is bucket list material — just try not to die for the check mark. I survived the hoodoos and didn’t even get the lousy T-shirt.
We did two nights at Bryce in order to risk our lives as creatively as possible. It’s worth noting that Bryce, which is celebrating its centennial, is a certified Dark Sky Park and its high elevation and clean air quality make it among the darkest in the country.
Make time to watch the stars come out.
Coral Pink Sand Dunes — Think Tattoine or Arrakis. I spent the entire day doing my best C-3PO impression because if this isn’t the real-life setting for “Star Wars” and “Dune,” I don’t know what is.
We arrived during a downpour so we couldn’t rent sand sleds (it’s a thing), but we did climb the dunes and skid down on our heels. Worth the detour, if you have time.
Stay in Kanab. It’s known as “Little Hollywood” for all the Westerns that were filmed there. There’s even a walk of stars that takes you through town as you track down signs for Clint Eastwood and John Wayne, among just about everyone else who ever appeared in a Stetson and some chaps.
Grand Canyon — No rest for the weary (I was popping all the anti-inflammatories and rubbing in all the ointments by this point), we arrived an hour earlier than expected thanks to a surprise time-change (Daylight Mountain Time vs. Mountain Standard Time). The North Rim is the less popular of the rims but no less spectacular. We procured a cabin at the Lodge and stayed two nights.
I recommend the moderate 10-mile hike through the forest to canyon overlooks on the Widforss Trail. We also made sure to reach Cape Royal Overlook in time for sunset so we could watch nature’s technicolor show on the big panoramic screen in front of us, as well as wait for the stars to come out and bask in the Milky Way.
Zion — Stay in Springdale and catch a free shuttle in town to the visitor center. There, you walk through the admission gate, then catch other buses to your desired trail stops.
We hiked the moderate-but-really-quite-strenuous Emerald Pool trails. Breath-taking, literally. (We did not do Angel’s Landing. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Look it up.) But the ultimate activity came the next day when we got up early and set out for an eight-hour trek of The Narrows. It sounds like a mystical Hobbit journey, and that’s not that far-fetched.
The Narrows is an absolute must and another really easy way to die. Watch for rain because flash floods will take you out before you even know what hit you. The day we went, the flood-o-meter was at “possible” so we risked it. You will get wet on this ride.
For the uninitiated, The Narrows is a boulder-strewn trail through the river, against the current, with cliff walls on either side. At times, the water came up to my chest. The good news is the park outfitters has waterproof socks, boots and walking sticks to rent. We skipped the glampy accoutrements and stuck with a basic walking stick, which is a necessity. I fell half a dozen times, got bruised, scraped and exacerbated carpal tunnel and it ranks as one of the top five experiences of my life.
This time, I did get the lousy T-shirt.
The fact that it was Rosh Hashanah and I was a “Jew wandering the desert,” enjoying some manna from heaven (in the form of Navajo tacos — a childhood favorite), only made the experience that much sweeter.
This was truly the trip of a lifetime. Next year in Zion!
Amanda Krotki is a Baltimore area freelance writer and Jewish cowboy descendant.
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